a5c7b9f00b A cast of characters, strikingly similar to the cast of Jersey Shore, try to survive an epidemic of sharks attacking Miami Beach.
This is a movie which is SOOO atrociously bad that I am ashamed to rate it, let alone write a review. Don't even know where to start. The protagonists of the movie are despicable and hateful to watch "perform" in this atrocious movie. I read other reviews and am fully aware of the fact that this movie was made to be intentionally bad. But it's just an insult to sharks and good taste in general. And the "special" effects are to be abhorred.<br/><br/>In fact there is nothing good about this movie, he he, except a "spectacular" dancing scene somewhere in the middle. Yeah anyway what am I getting all upset about it. If people enjoy watching it and other people have fun making it, so what. Still a bad movie though.<br/><br/>Enjoy.
Wow! All I can say is "ouch". The joke is clearly ON Jersey Shore.<br/><br/>For those who are unaware, there is a show that has been on TV for several seasons now, called "Jersey Shore". It is 'reality' - if you can really call it that. It's focus is on several people from the New Jersey area (primarily Italian Americans) andmost exploitation type shows go, it stereotypes these people.<br/><br/>That said. Watching this movie without understanding that it is spoofing the TV show could result in you going outside and looking at the setting sun and asking questions like, "Was that really Paul Sorvino? Was he blackmailed into doing this? Does Joey Fatone really have a fan club? Is my food choice for tonight safe after seeing this?"<br/><br/>On the other hand, if you get that it is a spoof - you might really enjoy it. It's gonna be a little painful either way, but let me assure you…there are a few funny moments…but mostly moments leaving you asking how production money was put together.

When their buddy John "JP" Pelligrini (<a href="/name/nm1827939/">Ben Giroux</a>) disappears after being chased into the water by two Country Club preppies, Bradford (<a href="/name/nm2908492/">Grant Harvey</a>) and Spencer (<a href="/name/nm1384079/">Dylan Vox</a>), Guidos (Italian-Americans) Gino Giuseppe Santino "TC" Moretti (<a href="/name/nm1157053/">Jeremy Luke</a>), Donnie (<a href="/name/nm3806927/">Joseph Russo</a>), and Paulie Balzac (<a href="/name/nm1731694/">Daniel Booko</a>) go down to the harbor to investigate and are surprised to find the water swarming with large albino bull sharks. They try to warn the town about the sharks, but no one, not even TC's father, Nick Moretti (<a href="/name/nm0768815/">Jack Scalia</a>), a policeman for the Seaside Heights Police Department, believes them until famous singer <a href="/name/nm0004909/">Joey Fatone</a> of N Sync is eaten alive during a performance on the beach. Jersey Shore Shark Attack was filmed from a screenplay by Michael Ciminera and Richard Glnofo, who built it around an MTV series <a href="/title/tt1563069/">Jersey Shore (2009)</a> (2009-2012). The movie does make reference, however, to a true shark attack that took place along the New Jersey shore in 1916. Dolan Industries is building a new beach club and spa along the shoreline in Seaside Heights. Part of the construction consists of drilling holes in which to sink pylons and cement them in place. It is the drilling that that creates the vibrations which attract the sharks. "Guido" is a derogatory term for a stereotypical, usually Italian-American, macho male from New Jersey or Brooklyn, New York. Their characteristic wardrobe consists of tracksuits, earrings, gold chains, and gelled hair. When not at their low-paid jobs delivering pizzas, telemarketing, or construction, they can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. The female counterpart is referred toa "guidette." Many of the terms, suchpaison, gumba, and cugine, are slang words with meanings similar to English pal or bro. A gumad refers to a man's mistress. Other terms refer to common Italian foods, suchgabagool (capicola ham), spuntini (baked meatballs), calzone (a folded pizza, turnover style), grappa (a grape-based Italian brandy), mojito (a cocktail made of rum, sugar, lime juice, mint, and sparkling water), and Pecorino Romano (a type of Italian cheese). At one point, Nooki exclaims, "Madonna Mia!", which translates"My Lady", referring to the mother of Jesus. It is usedan exclamation of surprise or annoyance. Three other terms heard in the movie are: pazzo (wild), fazool (slang for "money"), and ugatz, which can be translateda profanity, e.g., "shit" or "cock", implying something worthless,when Nooki calls TC a "lying sack of steaming ugatz." TC and his cugines commandeer a police boat and go looking for Bradford's yacht. They find it sinking and surrounded by sharks. After killing several sharks, they evacuate the Preppie partiers, but Nooki is nowhere to be seen. TC searches the yacht and finds her in a flooding cabin with her foot stuck. He breaks her loose, fights off a shark, and they declare their love for each other, TC placing his gold chain around her neck. Meanwhile, sharks have begun attacking the Seaside Heights boardwalk, so the Guidos and Preppies return to fight them off, just in time for TC to save Nick, who has jumped in the water to save a stranded swimmer, by shooting a speargun into the shark's left eye. Realizing that the drill is attracting the sharks, TC turns it off. Everyone cheersthe sharks turn tail and head back out to sea. In the final scene, the seaside radio announcer (<a href="/name/nm1392352/">JoJo Wright</a>) reports that the drill has been deactivated, the sharks have returned to open water, and all is quiet on the Jersey shore. Suddenly, a shark jumps out of the water and gobbles him up.
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